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Fun Things To Do At The Grocery Store

Been a while.  Sorry!

Here’s some flyer fodder.

While in a Grocery Store

• Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, yell “Make Way!!!”
• While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything for body lice.
• Bring your own buy one get one free tags and put them on random items.
• Get tubes of Preparation H (or other embarrassing items) and as you go past other shoppers just secretly drop it in their cart. Stand near the checkout and watch what they all do.
• Challenge other shoppers to cart races.
• Set up your own little sample table, but just give out plain animal crackers. Be very enthusiastic about them. “YOU”VE gotta try these!”
• When you see a worker pulling items to the front of the shelf, walk by and push some back. Just keep walking.
• If you can find a freezer with room in it (or make your own room) get inside and look out at the shoppers through the glass doors.
• Bring a fake mouse attached to fishing line (50 feet is good) and drag it around behind your cart.
• Insist that the bagger only put one item in each bag.
• When you stop to look at something, turn your cart sideways so nobody can get by.
• Make up your own language and ask people questions in it. Make the questions sound important.
• Wear headphones and sing out loud.

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