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God Esteem vs. Self Esteem

We had a thought provoking discussion last night at our area Leadership meeting.  One of my church’s elders, Tim Wright, came to talk to us about self-esteem.  He began the whole meeting by telling us he was going to destroy our self-esteem and that he wanted us to do the same with the kids we are ministering to.

Then, after making a list of things we work so hard at to build ourselves up in the sight of others (and more importantly ourselves) we read verses that shattered the entire list.  We talked about the fact that we literally have everything in Christ, hope, freedom, brothers & sisters, peace, etc. and that relying on any of our own attempts to create whatever we think will bring us some sort of better life is just foolish.

We spent a lot of time talking about how we can approach our kids who are all stuck in the same place we are.  It’s just sin really – us working hard, creating our own gods, denying that we need the one true God.

But, not only are our kids attempting to build up their self-esteem, so are their parents.  In attempts to be good parents, they are telling their children that they can do things on their own that aren’t realistic.  Check out this quote from a Yahoo article about a study on self-esteem.

High school students’ responses have crossed over into a really unrealistic realm, with three-fourths of them expecting performance that’s effectively in the top 20 percent.

So, let me get this straight. 75% of kids believe they are capable for performing in the top 20%. Hmmm.

Of course there’s a fine line between encouraging kids to do their best and enabling them to continue to make for themselves God’s that compete with our righteously jealous God. At some point, aren’t we all going to learn that life is about Jesus Christ, that we are not in the top 20%, and that doesn’t really matter anyway. We are sinful, utterly sinful. If we really want to do percentages, we are either 0% or 100%.

I’m 36 and most of the leaders in the room last night haven’t even reached their 21st birthday, and we all confessed to struggling with most of the things on that list. So, I know it’s going to be a life struggle to continue to be in Christ, in the world but not of the world.

Today I came across this quote from Lee Atwater, former Republican National Committee chairman (probably with a good self-esteem) and it fit well with what I was thinking from last night. This was written a month before he died of cancer.

My illness helped me to see that what was missing in society is what was missing in me: a little heart, a lot of brotherhood. The ’80s were about acquiring — acquiring wealth, power, prestige. I know. I acquired more wealth, power, and prestige than most. But you can acquire all you want and still feel empty. What power wouldn’t I trade for a little more time with my family? What price wouldn’t I pay for an evening with friends? It took a deadly illness to put me eye to eye with that truth, but it is a truth that the country, caught up in its ruthless ambitions and moral decay, can learn on my dime. I don’t know who will lead us through the ’90s, but they must be made to speak to this spiritual vacuum at the heart of American society, this tumor of the soul.

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