Only about one in four teens now participate in church youth groups, considered the hallmark of involvement; numbers have been flat since 1999. Other measures of religiosity — prayer, Bible reading and going to church — lag as well, according to Barna Group, a Ventura, Calif., evangelical research company. This all has churches canceling their summer teen camps and youth pastors looking worriedly toward the fall, when school-year youth groups kick in.

I mean, who doesn't love to drive to church to get to play an awesome game of "Piece The Bible."

I cringe when I read this article in the USA Today not because the slumping numbers bother me, but for 2 other reasons.

1. There is an assumption that our priority is to “get kids in church” which undoubtedly means that stupid building and…
2. The word “relationships” doesn’t appear anywhere in the article.

I’m biased, but Young Life’s emphasis on going where kids are & earning the right to be heard (through relationships) just seems so much more logical, biblical, and effective. But, it’s a lot harder than simply throwing a pizza party. You actually have to recruit and train leaders to go outside the walls of the church and convince them that it’s important to enter the scary lives of teenagers – even if that seems to be the most uncomfortable thing in the world to them. I promise you, teenagers are craving it.

It’s not only culture who perpetuates the madness. I’m well aware that youth pastors feel pressure from the church leadership because the answer to this question is what the youth pastor’s job performance is based upon: “How many kids are involved in our youth group?”

Instead if you want to focus on numbers (which I’m not entirely sure we should), we need to be asking these questions…

1. How many kids in our community do you know by name?
2. How many leaders within our church have you trained to do youth ministry with you?
3. How many athletic events & other activities did you and your leaders attend at the schools?
4. How many times did you or a leader go play playstation with kids at one of their houses?
5. How many kids do you & your leaders talk to on Facebook on a weekly basis?
6. How many kids have your cell phone number programed in their phone?

Effective & genuine, "going where they are" youth ministry.

And there are a lot more of these questions that are relational ministry questions instead of marketing questions. If all your church leadership is concerned with is numbers, print this out and show it to them (you might want to change the title). And, if you are at a church where you struggle to get adults to go out and be with kids, then quit. Why? Because you will never be able to fill their unrealistic demands on your own. Church is not a business. It is a relationship.

You have to have a group of caring adults who are willing to genuinely dive into the lives of kids. It’s easy to sit in a fellowship hall at a table with a bunch of Bibles and wait for kids to be sent to you for “small group time” so you can “teach” them for 30 minutes, tell them good bye, and wait until you get to do it all over again next week, but honestly, how worthwhile does that sound if you put yourself in the mindset of a teen – even if they do get free pizza? And, what is honestly gained from it? Do you really know those kids better? Do they know you better?

No, Jesus was among the people where they were. Sure there are times when he taught in the synagogue, but primarily his ministry happened on the street, on mountain-sides or by lakes and in the houses of (get this) sinners. He was out there.

Our culture has such a messed up view of youth ministry and church in general – and the worst part is that the church has fallen pray to that view & embraced it. I honestly hope youth groups that demand that kids “come to them” fail (call me the Rush Limbaugh of Youth Ministry), because that’s not ministry the way Jesus did it and its fake.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a place for group meetings at church, just like there’s a place for worship services at church, but that ain’t church. Church is “out there” among the people and if youth leaders take their calling seriously, that’s where they’ll go. They will go among the kids, build relationships with them, share the gospel with them, and invite them to join them in that building most people call a church, where they might actually have a pizza party with their youth leaders who know them & love them, and they’ll be there because they want to – not because mom “made me” go. Can we please get the order straight?

Mark Oestreicher has some thoughts on this article, as well. Check it out.

Cross-posted from www.chrisstorms.com.

Today, I didn’t have time to talk, but I glanced over at their table from time to time.  I gotta tell you, I felt sooooo sorry for them.  What a picture of why “go to them” ministry works and “come to me” ministry isn’t quite so effective.  I think I saw a grand total of 2 kids talk to them in a 30 minute period.

I’m not coming down on them, because they’re just getting started and I know all too well how difficult & intimidating it is to go into a room full of kids you don’t know hoping someone talks to you.  I remember feeling like that guy.  Actually, I pray that I always feel a little bit like that guy just to keep me on my toes and make me remember who’s really in control.  But, part of me wanted to go over there and kick them in the butt until they engaged with some kids.  I wanted to fold up their table, push them to the middle of the room, and tell them to just talk to someone. 

Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?  The kids might laugh at you.  Maybe, but in most cases that won’t happen until you walk away.  Just don’t look back.

I have to applaud their consistency.  They came today, and they were here last week.  Maybe they’ll be here tomorrow.  There’s something to be said for presence.  Sooner or later, maybe a kid will get dared to go to their table and talk to them, while his friends watch & giggle.  But, I’d rather force the issue.  You’re there to meet kids, to have an impact on their lives, to show them who Jesus is.  Jesus ain’t sitting at a table with a big bag of Starbursts.

Jump in, fellas!  It’s a whole lot more exciting.